Howdy Y'all!

Hello friends! I apologize for the lack of posting in the past few days...I was being fully immersed in the Texan culture! My husband's parents are new Texas residents and we had a family event; what better time to visit?!

I was a little worried about how our almost-7-month-old would do on the plane but to my surprise, he slept almost the whole way (most importantly through all take off and landings!) We had a two and a half hour flight to Charlotte with an hour layover, followed by an hour and a half flight to Dallas. Thank goodness for computers and access to The League Season 3 (which if you haven't watched this show, I highly recommend it.)

With only a short amount of time for the visit and a ton of things to squeeze in, we were constantly moving. We played on the playground, went to the pool, and toured the amazing Deloitte University. We witnessed our first (and my last) rodeo, drank a Shiner Bock (custom to Texas) on the streets of the Fort Worth Stock Yard, and bought our son a cowboy hat. Overall, I'd say we had a full Texan experience.

The best part about this vacation? Being reminded how lucky I am to be married to my best friend. So often in our day to day routine, we forget to live. We get caught up in work, and bills, and keeping the house neat. We forget to play. To wrestle or play tag. To sit and laugh and reminisce about the good times. To truly enjoy each others company and focus on living in the moment. I felt more alive and relaxed in this time away than I have felt in a long time. It was a good reminder that I need to start enjoying and cherishing all the little things life has to offer.

I waited 10 months for my husband to return from Afghanistan, and quite frankly I am beyond lucky and blessed that he did return. Period. There were days when all I wanted to do was sit in the same room as him, or tell him how my day went. My promise to myself? Stop being too busy to kiss him when he comes home. Or cuddle up with him when our son goes to sleep. To thank him for choosing me, and for being the best husband and father I could ask for. To forget quicker, forgive easier, and love deeper.

Here are some pictures from our trip...until next time Texas, it's been real!

Diary of a Mad Army Woman

It might come as a shock to those of you who don't deal with it on a daily basis, but the United States Army is the most unorganized and inefficient organization I have ever come across in my life. For the the sacrifices and hard work our spouses put into their jobs, they just get spat on by the Army. Seriously, slapped across the face.

After serving an honorable tour in Afghanistan defending our country, he's done nothing even remotely worth his while since being back. I don't know who is making the calls but there needs to be some serious changes made in how these soldiers spend their time and energy.

I respect the soldiers and am so thankful that people like that still exist in the world. However, whoever is running this shit show of an Army needs to prioritize. Do these soldiers have a family? Is this really necessary? Instead of making these guys sit in a room or out in a field, why don't we send them home? Maybe if they said these things out loud, they would realize the answers make a lot of sense.

I know my voice is nothing compared to the command, and I sure as hell don't know how to run an Army. But I do have common sense, I care about the feelings of others, and I have so much respect for the people risking their lives for our country. Maybe they should too.

And once again, for those who haters who think we as Army wives chose this lifestyle, think again. I chose to marry an honorable man that I love deeply and will continue to support, I did not choose to be apart more often than we are together. I did not choose to worry everyday that he will come home with orders to deploy. I did not choose to raise our children alone. I did not choose to not be able to talk to him when I want to.

If you think I did, shame on you. No one knows what this lifestyle is like unless you've lived it. It takes a strong woman to do this, but even the strongest of women get tired of running the show.

Here's to finding the strength within...

The Dark Night

This may come off as ignorant, but I don't watch the news. To be honest, it scares the crap out of me and I would rather live in a happy bubble of ignorance than be scared to leave my house. The only information that gets relayed to me is via Facebook or word of mouth.

If you haven't heard by now, there was a shooting last night at the midnight showing of the The Dark Knight Rises in Aurora, Colorado. I started seeing Facebook statuses about it this morning, and it literally broke my heart. 12 killed, 50 wounded. How could someone do something so terrible? Babies, children, adults. Will we ever know why? Will we ever understand the sick and twisted thoughts that caused this man to do something so horrific?

There have been school shootings, gym massacres, and airplanes being hijacked. Now we have to fear watching a movie without someone walking in the emergency exit and killing for no reason? Is anywhere safe?

Being afraid to leave your house is no way to live life. But how can we not? People used to ask me how I stayed so calm and didn't worry about Zach getting killed in action while in Afghanistan. Trust me, I worried about that everyday but never let it affect me and consume me. My answer when people asked me this? So many terrible things have happened here that the chances of him getting hurt there or here are almost equal.

I will be saying extra prayers tonight. Prayers for the victims of this terrible crime. Prayers for the family members who have to feel this terrible pain and deal with the loss of their loved ones for no reason at all. And prayers that the sick people in this world find help and healing and that these pointless crimes cease.

Things like this really make you think, or at least they should. They should make everyone want to be a little nicer. You never know what someone is going through or how what you say or what you do can affect them. Especially now with the power of the internet, things spread like wildfire. Be careful how you speak to or about people; you could change the world with a simple act of kindness.

We've all seen the following quote on Facebook. Today, I encourage everyone to really think about what this means. Maybe things like shootings could be avoided if we were all a little more compassionate.

"You know the girl you just called fat? She overdosed on diet pills. You know that girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting on make-up hoping people will like her. That boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. See that man with the ugly scars? He fought for his country. That guy you just made fun of for crying? His mother is dying. "


Take responsibility for yourself and your actions. God bless the victims and families from the Colorado shooting, and all other tragedies we've witnessed this past year.

Number Crazy

I have an obsession with numbers. If you have ever watched TV with me or listened to the radio with me in the car, you know exactly what I am talking about. Some people may only like numbers to be even or odd, but I'm not in that category either. Ready for this? I can only tolerate it when the numbers end in 0, 2, 5, or 8.

For example: the volume needs to be on 10, 12, 15, 18, or 20. So strange and so unnecessary, I know. But it literally drives me crazy. I have to turn it immediately or I'll be on edge the whole time. OCD? No, never been diagnosed for that. Crazy? Well, maybe in other peoples eyes. I can't explain it and I can't help it.

I think this drives my husband crazy more than anyone else. Biggest reason; the number of kids we want to have. I want 3 or 4...but wait, neither of those match my criteria! I don't like the number 3 because it corresponds with 666 and that's the devils number. Ok, maybe I am a little crazy. Thankfully, having another kid isn't on our minds right now so I have plenty of time to figure out this little craze of mine.

I've also noticed I have a little routine when it comes to brushing my teeth, washing my hands, and how I shower. Where did these routines come from? What did I do before them? You're probably thinking I belong on an episode of MTV's True Life: I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but I promise it's not that bad. I just have a way of doing things and they work for me. Why fix something that isn't broken?

This crazy quirk of mine doesn't interfere with everyday life, so until that happens, I'll just continue slapping the person next to me to fix the volume button. Want to see me squirm? Now you know how!

Dance Moms Tuesday

I love Dance Moms; totally one of my guilty pleasures. As a former dancer myself, it reminds me of long night rehearsals, sparkly costumes and awaiting the results at the end of the competition. Dance was a huge part of my life from age six to age sixteen, but thankfully having a "dance mom" was not.

These women are crazy! I don't know who I'd be more afraid of if I were them...their moms or their dance teacher. Grown women yelling and screaming and cussing in front of their children is just the beginning of it. Pageant moms are equally disturbing, although Toddlers and Tiaras is also on my guilty pleasure TV show list.

Nolan had his six month check-up today and it totally freaked me out. Where has the time gone these past six months? And it's only going to go faster. I can't fathom him sleeping in his own room yet let alone going to pre-school or college or getting married!

Ok, maybe I'm getting ahead of myself here. But each day I look at him and he smiles at me or reaches for me, I soak it in. Even days like today, when he's needy because of his shots or doesn't want to be put down, I don't get frustrated; I just hold him and cherish the moment.

"Time goes faster than you think, so don't blink"- Kenny Chesney

Watching shows like Dance Moms or other reality TV nonsense, I'm learning what kind of mom I am, what kind of mom not to be, and what kind of mom I want to be. This little boy and the future babies to come are our world, and seeing them happy is what will make life worth living.

The doctor says I need to start putting him in his crib and in his own bed, but neither of us are ready for that yet. People have different opinions on this and I've heard them all. What works for one doesn't work for another, and we are both perfectly content this way. I know the day will come and it will just click, but that day isn't today.

With that being said, I have a little munchkin that needs snuggling.

Sweet dreams y'all :)

Momarazzi

Well it's no surprise I'm completely obsessed with my new camera. It's amazing. And add in the fun of playing with photoshop?! Heaven! Who knew it could be so fun?

Zach gave it to me when he picked me up on Saturday and I haven't put it down since. I don't exactly know what I'm doing yet so I'm practicing on everything and anything. I took about 15 pictures in a row of my Starbucks Frappuccino and don't even get me started on how many pictures I have of Nolan. Straight Momarazzi over here.

Aperture, shutter speed, ISO...so much to learn! I took a basic photography class in high school but as we all know, that was a long time ago, so I don't remember much. I plan on watching plenty of tutorials and asking a lot of questions so that I can take the best pictures possible. As of now, it's just a hobby but I feel like I'm passionate enough about it for it to possibly turn into something more in the future.

I don't know what it is about pictures that I love so much. Maybe it's the fact that the people in the picture can change but the picture will always be the same. Or that when I look at a picture, I'm instantly taken back to that time in my life and remember the good or bad times that were. Maybe it's the beautiful architecture, scenery, or sunlight. All I know is that I find photography a true art form and this camera is just another reason to take pictures everyday.

I've had numerous people tell me that I take more pictures of Nolan than necessary or that I've had more professional photo shoots for him than anyone they know. Well, when they have a child and see how fast they grow and change, they will understand. I can't even believe he is six months old and how much personality he has. He has favorite foods, toys, and TV shows. He knows when he needs to sleep and he knows when he wants to be held. He's a little person now and I refuse to miss a single moment of his childhood.

Here's to making memories and having someone (me) behind the camera to capture them all :)

Blood is thicker than water

Being home reminds me of how lucky I am. I have such an amazing set of parents, little brother, grandparents, and a ton of aunts, uncles, and cousins. Some of us talk more than others but when we get together it's like no time has passed and that we're closer than ever.

During this trip home, my family members and myself made such an effort to see each other numerous times and I couldn't have asked for a better time. We had dinner, went fishing, watched movies, got drinks, celebrated, laughed, and truly enjoyed each others company.

I'm sad to go back to New York and leave them all behind, but knowing how committed we are to keeping in touch and making and effort to stay up-to-date on each others lives, it makes it easier.

Being an Army wife means moving around a lot and not knowing when you'll go "home" next. It of course means saying goodbyes too early and it seems that no amount of time is enough time with the ones you love. I think it's because of this that I truly appreciate these people in my life and that I never take this time together for granted.

There's nothing like family. Nothing. Your family will be there through thick and thin; they'll be that 3 a.m phone when you need a shoulder to cry on or finish a bottle of wine with you while reminiscing about old times. Family, next to love, is the greatest of all things

Surprise!

I've only genuinely been surprised a few times in my life. In fact, I can probably count all of those times on one hand. I'm that little kid that looks for Christmas gifts, that girl that nags someone until they crack, and that wife that checks the bank statement religiously. I hate surprises but yes, I secretly like them.

When Zach was coming home for R&R, I threatened to kill him if he tried to surprise me. First and most importantly, I was nine months pregnant and would have for sure gone into labor. And secondly, I obviously needed that moment documented since we hadn't seen each other in seven months. He told me his flight information, and I had my perfect airport reunion that I had been dreaming about. And thankfully, no baby was born in Cleveland Hopkins Airport that day.

We've been discussing getting a new camera for months now, however something else more important and more necessary always pops up. You know, diapers, wipes, life insurance; all the fun stuff.

Today would be a day to add to the one hand of lifetime surprises. Well...almost. My husband can't keep surprises and combined with my Nancy Drew detective skills, I put two and two together and discovered he had made the purchase!

Maybe he didn't get it charged and give it to me when we saw each other like he had planned, but I had no idea I was getting it today so I will count that as a surprise.

Anyone with a background in photography? I would love your advice and suggestions! Can't wait to get my hands on that baby tomorrow!! Oh, and see my husband too ;)

Empty promises

We've all said and heard "I'm sorry" a countless amount in our lifetimes. We're human, we make mistakes, and saying those magic words is supposed to fix everything, right? Wrong. Why do we say it? Here's the list I came up with:

-an accident
-we did something wrong
-sympathy for someone else
-lying (and getting caught)

So saying these words is just supposed to make the other person or people forget what happened THAT time and then when it happens again the words can be said, right? Wrong again.

We're human, we hold grudges, but in this case I think it is rightfully so. Actions speak louder than words and just because you're sorry, doesn't mean you've learned a lesson and won't do it again. In fact, most people repeat the offense and haven't really learned anything at all. So why do we as humans do this?

Is it because we're forgetful? Is it because saying I'm sorry ends an argument and conflict makes us nervous?

This applies to every type of relationship: romantic, friendship, parent/child, professional, etc. But there comes a certain point when you decide how important the relationship is. Discuss the problem and attempt to move on, or walk away. Fortunately and unfortunately I've had to do both, but I've learned a lot from these experiences and know how to handle them.

I've always been a big advocate of showing how much you mean something rather than telling it. Are you sorry? Prove it by changing whatever it is you're sorry about. You love someone? It's great to hear it but leaving a little note or buying flowers just because you care goes a lot further. Working towards a goal? Stop talking about how hard it is and just get out and do it.

I've made a lot of mistakes in my life but what makes me a good person in the end is that I've learned from them. I encourage everyone to reevaluate yourself once in awhile and make sure you're living your life the way you want to. You choose your path and the person you want to be.

Make a promise to yourself and keep it. In the end, that's all that really matters. You'll blow all your money, your body won't be what it used to, but the person you've become and the relationships you've kept will be the most important thing in the world.

Ohio Recap: Part II

So what other adventures have we been on this vacation?

A couple of years ago, my cousins and I discovered what we think is the best tasting sushi, as well as the most reasonably priced sushi in the Cleveland area. It's half off on Monday's and Tuesday's and is absolutely delicious.

Last Tuesday, Zach and I got together for dinner there with a bunch of my cousins. With everyone's busy schedules, it was nice to be able to get everyone together one last time before heading back to New York. Never a dull moment and I got to hold my "nephew" Zachary. All in all a great time!

Wednesday was a big day for us as it was Fourth of July but also Nolan's half birthday! We met my cousins at my Nana's house and took Nolan to the local parade. It was way too hot for everyone so we opted for the better option: pool time! Nolan enjoyed his first experience in the pool and this pale mama finally got some much needed sun :)

That night, we headed to a BBQ at Zach's family friends house, and Nolan didn't even flinch when the fireworks went off practically on top of us. One rain drop was followed by an instant downpour, and our firework experience was short lived.

Thursday consisted of me cooking a delicious dinner for our families, my first motorcycle ride, and a fishing competition between Zach and myself... Which I of course won :) We had a cookout at my friends house Friday, which also meant Nolan had a date with a cutie patootie as well. He already has so many girlfriends and I most certainly have my hands full for the future.

Saturday was our last day at the lake and this meant floating on a raft and soaking up the sun. We had a four year olds birthday party late afternoon, followed by a relaxing evening of fishing off the dock. We weren't sure if Nolan and I were going to stay or go back, which brings us to today. I'm still in Ohio and will be heading back to New York at the end of the week!

I've enjoyed our vacation but am ready to get back home. Sometimes I'm confused on where home is, and it will always be at my parents house in Ohio. However, as I've learned the past few days, home is more where my husband is now, and despite disliking New York, I'm ready to get back for that reason.

Ohio Recap; Part I

Let's face it: Ohio isn't the most exciting place to grow up. Most people think it's cornfields and farms, but I can assure you where we are from is far from that. No I've never milked a cow, I don't own a tractor, and yes we have electricity and indoor plumbing.

In fact, my parents live in a private lake community and it's nothing short of paradise. A lake complete with boating, fishing, and swimming... And the occasional "booze cruise" allow for a great time whenever we come back to visit.

We were booked to the brim before we even set foot in the door. Due to mommy mush brain, I hadn't thought about scheduling a hair appointment until Friday, and expected to get one Saturday. Luckily, I did! On top of that, I decided when I was there that I would chop 10 or so inches off. 2 hours later (and with one bored husband) I walked out of the salon as a complete blonde and with hair above my shoulders!

We then had our friends annual Fourth of July party to attend. With some of my closest friends, who I haven't seen in months to years, arriving for the weekend, we knew it would be beyond a great time. I was pregnant last year and Zach was deployed, so we had a lot of catching up to do with old friends.

Sunday was Nolan's baptism and everything went smoothly; He didn't even cry! Of course he was too little to know what was going on, but everyone told us it looked as if he was listening to everything the priest was saying and taking it all in. Silly boy! We had a BBQ at my parents house, went on the boat and shockingly, I even went tubing!

Monday was an extra day with friends that were visiting from out of town, and later that evening Zach and I went downtown Cleveland. We bought cheap tickets to the Indians game, hung out at the bar in centerfield and then headed to the new Horseshoe Casino. We played a few slots and broke even, perfect ending to the night!

More stories to follow :)