Since when did "lying" become the norm and more of a truth than the truth?
I could sit here and tell you all of the times I've caught people in a lie, but we might be here until tomorrow. For some reason, I just have a sixth sense when it comes to it.
And to be completely honest with you, I think a part of it is that I'm not like normal people. Most people trust someone until they give them a reason not to. But me, I don't start trusting someone for a long time, so basically, you have to earn my trust from the beginning.
I have met dishonest people in every chapter, at every stage, and in every scenario of my life. And I just don't get why.
It takes more energy and effort to lie and keep a story straight than to just tell the truth. So this got me thinking; why do people lie?
Are they afraid of hurting the ones they love? Are they afraid of losing them? Are they afraid of getting in trouble and in turn, being alone? Are they afraid of being ridiculed? Are they ashamed of who they are? Does there come a point when it becomes a real problem?
Lying is only a small part of trusting someone. You have to feel connected to someone. You need to feel like they are genuinely interested in you, your life, and enhancing it. Lying will cause you to lose someone's trust but there's much more in it than just that.
I've always lived by a quote from the beautiful Marilyn Monroe:
“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
Although I try to lead my life by this quote, I'm in amazement that we even have to deal with lying at all.
I want to be loved for who I am. I want to inspire people. I want to be myself. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin. I want to be surrounded by people who love me and would never try to hurt me.
But lies hurt. And feeling as though you can't trust someone hurts.
How do you deal with a liar? I don't have an answer for you. I guess it depends on the lie and if you can get over it. It takes years to build trust and only a second to lose it. Why put in the effort and throw it away so quickly?
So my question for all of you; how do you move on and learn to trust again? Is it a process? Is it easy?
My family and friends mean the world to me and I have always held up more of the "forgive" than "forget" part of the deal. I strive to give people the benefit of the doubt and look for the good deep down, but after years and years of deceit and hurtful words, when is enough, enough?
Caroline Jewel Boutique specializes in fantastic personalized items and gifts! Check them out today :)
Great post on truth and trust! My husband always says I'm like a rolladex...filing away certain stories. While I don't forget, I always forgive. It's hard to understand why a person chooses lies over truth but for me, I own my life - mistakes and all. I'd much rather tell the truth once and work from there than tell a lie and keep working on making it "true".
ReplyDeleteI've been struggling with trusting one of my sister-in-laws for a while. She is truly a pathological liar and it makes it hard to believe anything that comes out of her mouth. She was telling my entire family, including her husband that she was in nursing school and then we found out a few months later she had never even been to college. This is one example of thousands. "When is enough, enough?" I've had a hard time figuring that out because she is a member of our family. It's not like I can just say, peace, see ya later! Although a lot of the time, I wish I could. This is a great post!
ReplyDelete-Logan
Such a wonderful post. I have encountered so many people in my life that seem to lie for fun. It's disgusting and I'm the type that will call them out on it.
ReplyDeleteSuch a great post! I myself always want to see the good in people, But once a person lies to me...things will never be the same because there are two people i can't stand in life and that is liars, and thieves. So if you lie to me things will never be the same between us, I won't be ugly or tacky to you I just won't invest in the relationship anymore past being cordial to one another...
ReplyDeleteSuch a raw and honest post. <3
ReplyDeleteSo true! I can't stand liars, so I usually call them out on it. I guess that makes me "blunt" but oh well. It's hilarious when they lie AGAIN to try and get out of their lie. I knew you were lying the first time, what makes you think I won't know the second time.
ReplyDeleteHow do you move on and learn to trust again? Is it a process? Is it easy? It isn't easy and it is a process. A slow process. I don't go into anything trusting, which is sometimes my downfall. But I've had a hard time with it. Typically trust isn't rebuilt easily with someone who has lied to me. But part of that might be the fact that I managed to trust them in the first place, since that's the hard thing for me.
ReplyDeleteI can identify in so many ways with this post. There are really only two things that I can not stand - when someone lies to me and when someone yells at me. I pretty much shut down. The eyes go blank and I pretty much stop hearing what is being said. Needless to say, I don't respond to either well. And while I will forgive someone that genuinely asks, I usually don't ever forget how that person has hurt me. It is very difficult to win a second chance with me when it comes to lying. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post. I too believe that everything happens for a reason and that most things are beyond our control. I also believe that the truth will always out and that people who are dishonest are the ones to suffer in the end. A lie is always found out. As a teacher and a parent, I always tell my kids that I will be a lot happier with the ugly truth than an hideous lie.
ReplyDeletexx